A Word

So I have been holding on to my Testimony WAAAYY too long….and sis, it’s time to share. 

Because there are so many different pieces that add together for an expected end, I have to break it up. 

This will only be part one….the beginning: A Word.

So we as believers know that when we get a word from God, it is Yea and Amen. But booooyyyy, walking out your faith is hard. So I’ll start from when it started for me. 

I graduated from my undergrad in 2016. I just knew I was on my way to DC y’all. You could not tell me that I would be moving back home for 5 years… but I did not want to rush, and I did not want to be outside of the will of God, so I followed my mamas instructions and came home. 

Now, while away in college I picked up some things…and when i say some things, I mean some attributes, characteristics, habits, mindsets, and actions… that were not of Christ.  I was promiscuous. Yes, you can be practicing promiscuity without having sexual intercourse. I was engaging in relationships and connecting myself to men after my own lusts and desires. Even though I had stopped drinking, I desired to drink…all the time. I was listening to secular music. Spiritually, I was claiming holiness but was on the fence. My self-esteem was all messed up (What even is that y’all? why would you esteem yourself more highly than you ought to. Romans 12:3). I was happy for my friends but jealous and sad because they had things figured out and was moving how they wanted…doing what they wanted, and here I was moving back home… not knowing what was next for me…Oh and I was in DEBT. Credit Card and School Loan Debt. Loaded with a lot of mess honestly. Anyway…I came home. 

For a few months I was really depressed. Jobs that I looked for, that I wanted..I was not qualified. They wanted years of experience or a military background. (Undergraduates know! LOL that time you wondering why you went to school to begin with) So I applied to anything just to start something. I told my uncle that I did not understand what I was supposed to do and God was not saying anything to me. He said, you have nothing but time…Seek God. Pray and seek him. I was like okay…and didn’t. I prayed a little. (Lets be honest, sometimes we are dismissive of instruction) 

My sister was a Director over a program at the YMCA and told me the Y was hiring for an assistant in a Reading program. Y’all…you talking humble yourself. This job was part time, after school care, and YALL…KIDS ARE NOT MY GIFTING. But a man who don’t work don’t eat…and I was willing to do anything (this credit card interest was eating my insides slowly). 

While at this job, that I really did not like, I broke down. I cried, and finally listened to my uncle. I started to fast. I prayed for instruction. I really for the first time in my life met with God…on my own. I repented of my sins. I gave him my mess… Funny how willing I became when I was miserable, uncomfortable, and unhappy. (HINT) 

I went to work one day and found out that the supervisor who I worked with directly was moving jobs. Annoyed, like..deep sigh, who am I going to work with now. Little did I know she moved just for me. Shortly (very shortly after leaving) she reached out and told me that the job she moved to was hiring an assistant and she thought I would really like the organization. So I applied. God gave me the job. I was so excited. My prayers to move from kids and to get a job that paid more had been answered. 

NOW LISTEN… This was not a fru fru job. I thought program assistant meant office work. Little did I know… It would be HARD LABOR…okay.  Social services is NO joke. However, I love people and helping people seem to really work for me. Even though I was happier, in the back of my mind though I thought …this is definitely temporary.  It was an entry level job at a what I thought too low of a rate for someone with a degree (PRIDE). Regardless… after seeking God I was told don’t move. 

So I didn’t. I was going to work, waiting for God to find me something more “international relational” LOL. About 6 months into my part-time job, I get a call from the Director of the program explaining that the person directly over me was no longer with the organization and asking would I be able to start full time the next morning. I was in SHOCK. This meant that a program full of about 70-80 volunteers would now be looking to me for instruction, direction, and guidance (After 6 Months!). I of course said YES. Praying for God to give me the ability to do a good job, I went into work and begin to grow in Leadership. 

(Im going to Side Note here** There are times that we have no idea of our purpose or what God has for us, and what we see looks like we are waiting for God to move…or change where we are and move us to something “better”. What if you are right where God needs you to be for a time. Even if it’s low wage, people are mean, you are tired…What if his will is there and you are trying to move? Stand still.) 

6 months into me transitioning into full-time, the Director calls me into her office and says, We are going to renovate the entire bottom floor of the building (this is where the pantry was, along with several offices). We want a Client Choice Pantry. You are going to design the layout and train the volunteers on how it will work. Then she said oh, and we are not shutting down during construction, you will need to figure out how to continue operations while we are under construction. LISTTTEEENNNNN (inserts emoji here). I nodded and said Okay. 

At this point I was doing my previous supervisors job plus some, with the same pay rate and same title. People will say, you should advocate for yourself! You need to speak up! You need to go in and ask for a raise… But listening to people will have you OUTSIDE OF GODS WILL! One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:33. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." So guess what I did… Prayed. (I promise you….waiting on God, after a while!!! It seemed like raises came for me every month! I ain’t lying either LOL). 

June 2018 came, our new pantry was built, the volunteers were trained, and I was IN LOVE with a job that I thought was temporary. I had an entire new space, operation, new staff…that God had given me. I went from working in a shared desk space, to having my own office. I went from deep in credit card debt (ANOTHER testimony), to completely paying off all my debt. The skills that I had fostered in this SO SHORT period of time are unmatched for anything else that I would have done on my own. Just imagine if pride consumed me, and I didn’t sit still? 

Can you believe this is only the start!? God is amazing and can do exploits through you, if you are willing to trust him. 

I became the Director over the program that year with Directors pay…and benefits.

In the midst of sitting in church during praise and worship, my mom leaned over and said “God said you worry, worry, worry…worry worry worry, and your Masters is paid for.”

My eyes enlarged! 1. because I was not planning on going back to school! 2. It was 2019, I was flourishing and was not worried about NOBODIES SCHOOL! 

…A Word.