The Good Wife.
Ok! So, let’s be honest! Being married and becoming a wife is no joke! It can be hard to transition from only thinking about yourself, to now having to cater and submit to another person.
I have been married for 3 short years and it’s a constant learning experience. Sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I get it wrong. I can be very inconsistent! But one thing that is very consistent, is the word of God! The Bible is basically our “How to Guide” when it comes to our role as a wife and in our marriage. Y’ALL, if you do not approach marriage from a righteous mindset and a want to please Christ, this post isn’t for you, because this takes sacrifice! And it’s HARD!
So, whether you are married or single and waiting- Lets study how God wants us to be as wives.
Let’s start with Esther 1:20 which says “And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.”
Wives honor their husbands.
Honor means to have high respect or show great esteem. You operate in integrity and you fulfill or keep an agreement, in this case your vows.
Honor leads me into the next scripture which is Ephesians 5:22-25; “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands.
Submit means to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
This scripture is mostly misunderstood when it is being interpreted carnally and/or partially. God is not only telling us to submit, but he tells us why. In verse 23, he parallels our earthly marriage to the marriage between him and the Church. God has placed our husband to be our covering and head (Christ is the head of the church and we submit to him)
God has placed order within a marriage and it requires us to be strong in submission.
Verse 25 says how our husband is supposed to love us as Christ loves the church, and gave himself for it. Think about God’s love and how sacrificial, selfless, and unconditional it is. Submission is beautiful when operated in righteousness.
Proverbs 31:27- “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Wives take care of their household and are not idle.
Idleness, simply put, is laziness or slothful; doing nothing.
I know going to work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of your husband and kids…the list goes on… is not always easy! We control the tempo of our homes (read Proverbs 14:1 and Proverbs 21:9). But when we follow the directions in the Word of God, our work/obedience pleases the Lord!
1 Timothy 3:11- “Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.”
Wives are grave, not slanderers, sober, and faithful.
Grave is having a serious and dignified quality or demeanor, according to the Marriam Webster Dictionary.
This scripture also references Titus 2:4-5- “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Peter 3:1-2 and 4- 5- “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear...4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
Wives be in subjection to your own husbands, adorned with a meek and quiet spirit.
This scripture is mainly referring to a wife who is saved and a husband who is not and how a wife can win their husband by her conversation and being in subjection. This is far from easy but the Bible still gives direction for this situation.
As a wife, God really holds us to a higher standard in our actions, conversations, and work! We are not just responsible for ourselves but for our lineage!
Last thing as a wife…Sex.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5- “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Hebrews 13:4 States “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:…”
Wives render due benevolence unto your husband.
Sex is so important in marriage. God created sex for us to become ONE physically and spiritually with our husbands. It’s also a way for us to enjoy one another. Sex should not be used as a pawn but rather as way of worship.
Being a wife is no easy feat. I, personally, have had to cry, pray, and even fast and wait until God came to answer some prayers. But, within my marriage, I have also experienced unconditional love, continual joy, and unwavering peace in knowing that who God puts together, no man can separate! (Matthew 19:5-6)
PS. This word was for us sisters! But don’t worry! The Bible addresses men as husbands as well. If your husband is following the Word of God and loving you accordingly, everything above becomes a little less hard and a lot more natural!
It’s the perfect love language.
With love,
Sister on Sundays